Chettipuniam Nights II

According to the encyclopedic knowledge of Varunopedia, the following defines the bizarre creature known as the multi-tongued-toad –

Multi-Tongued-Toad
From Varunopedia, the vetti encyclopedia

(Amphibious distant cousin of the Babel Fish)
For other uses, see Repulsive Creatures stuck to Cycle Tyres (Disambiguation)



A multi-tongued-toad will prey on your stupidity and translate the language of animals for you. In order to make the multi-tongued-toad work for you, you need to continue making stupid comments and it will then get pumped up and start translating the language of animals into whatever language you made the stupid comments in.

As for VBK, he never runs out of making stupid comments such as ‘Oh, came back from FC huh. Had your lunch?’ or, ‘Hey that car has so much dust on it, I think it’s not been cleaned for a long time!’

Now, it so happened that Mr. VBK chanced upon one of these Multi Tongued Toads stuck to the front wheel of his bicycle. (See picture for reference) He gingerly lifted it, placed it in his pocket and continued walking. Since stupidity was in abundance, the toad automatically powered up and stated translating the language of dogs for him. So now, VBK could comprehend dog talk. (Yeaa baby, another Dr. Dolittle at your disposal)

Just as he was cycling out of Mcity and into the previously described shady area of Chettipuniam, he heard voices talking. The mutli tongued toad started translating in a scratchy voice, and it was then that VBK realized that he was overhearing the conversation between two dogs.

“Bro, check this fool out. His girlfriend threw a stone at Kabali today.”

“Yea? Let’s give him some pain.”

Suddenly out of nowhere, two vicious and sufficiently toothy dogs were running towards VBK, claws out, teeth sharp and glinting.

VBK saw them running towards him with kolai veri (License to Kill) and panicked. He mounted his cycle as soon as he could, but in the process of mounting the bicycle, a prominent RRRIIIPPP could be heard; that was when he looked down and noticed, to his horror, a gaping hole in his pants.

What was worse, the Multi Tongued Toad decided to make a grand entrance through the hole into… Err… Into VBK’s private chambers.

VBK was screaming his head off and pedaling as hard as he could so that he could get away from the chasing dogs and also so that the toad would not move further into the … Forbidden territory. In the process he almost ran over an old man who was walking along the road trying to smell the flowers (But ended up getting stung after a few unidentified insects decided to take a bite at his bulging nose)

Anyway the point is, by the time VBK got away from the dogs on his bicycle, he had reached such a speed that the friction between the road and the tyres had put top speeds of the Need for Speed cars to shame and had busted the cycle tyres. He had no way out. The next morning, he would have to walk. And why did all this start? All because Swapna threw a stone at a dog. He wanted to kill her. He wanted to positively, and literally, ensure that she ‘went to the dogs’.

That night, VBK got some moral motivation from his roommate Don on how to do some teeth smashing, nail pulling and other horrific things in that genre. Now that his cycle was unusable, he dismantled the cycle stand from it and now, armed with this weapon, went to meet his fate.

In the middle of the Chettipuniam road where Lorries flattened the Earth, infiltrated the air with endless amounts of dust and jobless people took refuge, VBK the cycle stand warrior went forth. It was at this time, that the dog spoke and this was in turn translated by the Multi Tongued Toad –

“So, you have come to die. So be it.”

“No, I have come to watch you die.”

“Me, die? I would love to see you try!” Barked the dog.

“I’m going to kill you, mangy mutt!”

FREEEEEEZE! This if you recall, is the beginning of our story. And this, my friends, is the unfortunate turn of events which led to VBK being mistaken for a ruthless serial killer and child abuser. It was his misfortune that a small child had been standing in the way of the dog and VBK; this made people think that VBK was actually going to slaughter the poor kid. This was the picture I had painted.

Now, slowly zoom out and notice the intricate details of the painting. This painting hangs in the middle of Chettipuniam tea shop in the year 2020, because the story of VBK and his adventures in Chettipuniam went on to become legendary, and every time a frustrated young software professional goes in and lights a cigarette to drown his frustration, he looks upon this painting and draws inspiration. The cycle stand which was almost used there lies today in the museum of venerable artifacts, as depicted below. Watch out for more Chettipuniam night chronicles.



VBK's Cycle stand in the museum of venerable artifacts