Warfare. How we rape the Earth and send into her bowels the remains of the heroes who fight for their country. Characterized by hunger for blood, the metallic agents of death christened bullets fly from guns, pierce into flesh and bone and nullify the human and what he has ever stood for. Years of growing up, making memories, developing character, all nullified by that simple metallic bullet.
Yes, I am a war hero. I became that by making my enemies die for their country. I became a hero by creating martyrs. Colonel Anantha Krishnan – War veteran of Kargil.
Now, years after Kargil is over, fear engulfs me and torments me. Fear which was not there on the battlefield comes to me after the battle. A soldier’s fear is never unjustified and even for me, the reason is clear. Pakistan is sending out hit men to terminate me even as I speak.
Evening descends upon the serenity of Mylapore and I see the various mamas and mamis sporting expensive sports shoes and walking briskly towards the park for their evening rounds of exercise (a little) and oodles of area gossip (Did you know about my daughter-in-law’s first cousin’s father-in-law’s only brother? He is going to Americaaaa.. States!)
How my heart yearns to join them… But then Pakistani spies will unearth facts pertaining to me and my routine and kill me without sympathy.. Yes, I showed no mercy while shooting them down in the war, why would they show any while killing me?
Oh, ohhh… Dear Lord! There my observant eyes spot a man with a white hat asking someone for directions.. Shit that person is pointing towards my apartment! That is the Pakistani spy.. I need to get the hell out of here as soon as possible!
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My name is Farid ul Hamid. I am a devout Muslim and I want to go to Mecca. My childhood memories are bleak and I do not recall if my parents ever took me to Mecca. All I remember is the sand, the camels. I have this fear of sinning. We should never sin, because God will punish us.
Powerful and Merciful he is, and in his name I terminate all the unholy filthy beings that populate this planet. Some people tried to brainwash me that killing was a sin, but killing in the Lord’s name and doing his work is not, which is why I do it.
I never know who orders it, or how it works. But it just happens – When I wake up, I find the name of the person I am supposed to kill, along with the reason why they should be wiped off from the face of the Earth.
Most of these people fought in the Kargil war, where they killed many of my brothers. Even now, I have been sent to terminate one man, Colonel Anantha Krishnan.
I have been unable to locate this person so far; and now the entity called fear is tightening its noose around my neck; if I do not find him I will fail as God’s harbinger, which means I have sinned. If I sin then the almighty shall smite me and make me wither with just his will.
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Woeful winds wash over the foe’s withering lands.
Willful subjugation of the enemy is in our hands.
Wandering greedily across the Earth, we wonder how we can grab more.
Wasting lives without remorse, the soldiers of death march across the borders,
Wistfully I wait for an end, but will it ever end?
Yes, I am scared of soldiers. They torture us, loot us, kill us, rape our wives, enslave our children and erase our footprints from the annals of history. Somehow I needed to eat the fear. I will do it by killing a soldier.
Oh yes, killing a soldier will help me understand that they are not demons who can be killed. It will help the world of civilians understand that they can kill a soldier too. And very soon, no country will have soldiers left to fight with! Ha! Erase the pawns of battle and what are you left with?! Dust!
In this area there lives a man who is a soldier. Anantha Krishnan is his name…
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Dr. Manamaruthuvar
Army Psychiatrist
Inside a room above which this board was hung, Dr. Manamaruthuvar was speaking to a timid looking man.
“Mr. Skanda, you did right by bringing us this case. Your neighbor whom you had told us about is indeed suffering from a strange phenomenon. He is afflicted by post war stress and he hated his war experience so much, his brain split itself into two parts – both expressing hate for his profession.
After following him for the past one week, we unearthed the facts – He becomes a Pakistani Muslim who kills soldiers. He also morphs into a rather charming and poetic writer who is afraid of soldiers.
What makes this case most peculiar is the fact that both his alter egos are out to kill his original personality. From this we can deduce that a part of the poor man hates and reprimands himself for every moment that he was in the war. We could not determine whether he has any more of these personalities…”
Mr. Skanda wiped the sweat trickling off his brow and spoke.
“Doctor, such a man is dangerous to have around. I fear the safety of my kids – especially because one of them keeps saying he wants to become a soldier one day.”
“Fear is like a spider, Mr. Skanda. It crawls into your head silently, weaves a web and traps all your thoughts within the web – and then every thought is stuck in the web of fear. Look at this man – even his alter egos are afraid of something!
But you have no cause for worry, Mr. Skanda. We will send out personnel and take him to the rehabilitation wing as soon as possible. Thanks again for your concern.”
As Mr. Skanda walked out, he couldn’t help noticing that the doctor sitting in front of him, if he removed the mustache and snow white hair would look the same as the balding and clean shaven Colonel Anantha Krishnan who lived next door…
